“I’ve always loved the first day of school better than the last day of school. Firsts are best because they are beginnings.” – Jenny Han

The September school launch is a big deal for me this year. Probably as big as it will ever be. The reason for this is that it is my firstborn’s first year in reception.

Now, for him, he is leaping into the unknown. My wife and I are very aware that this is new territory, and that the emotions he is feeling about it need attention, respect and explanation. He is going from a summer full of play, freedom, and unscheduled joy into, a hopefully no less joyful, but very different environment, in a new building, with new expectations on him, with a bunch of people he doesn’t know.

Now, whether your kids are first-timers or not, the gear shift back into school after a long holiday is a significant one, and so, they will always have feelings about it, good or bad. Helping them to work with their emotions, and to be resilient through them (if that is required) is important in building them up to be independently resilient and emotionally intelligent adults.

 

1. Ask Them How They Are Feeling

Regardless of whether they are apparently fine or visibly having breakdowns and tantrums about it, ask them how they are feeling about school. You may have some wise words for them, you may not. What is most important is that you are engaging with them and their feelings and that they understand that, no matter how hard tough feelings about school are to get through, you are there to support them when they come home.

2. Understand That This is All Normal

Don’t freak out or worry if your kid is really stressed about the transition. It’s not necessarily because there is something huge wrong with the school, or a fellow student, or a teacher. It probably isn’t that at all. It is most commonly because they are about to step from spending all their time in their safe place with their safe people (you) into a world where they are swamped with unknowns and without their parental safety net.

3. Work Out Their Specific Worry

If it turns out that they are specifically worried about something, make sure you work out what that is. General support with general worry is fine, but knowing exactly what is triggering their anxiety means that you are one step closer to finding a concise and specific solution for them. And when you do, try to work on solutions together. Anything that brings you closer to them is going to make them feel more anchored once they are drifting out at school.

4. Wind Down Post-School

No matter how good school might be, it is intense. Ensure that you install a post-school routine that gives them a chance to relax and enjoy downtime. Resilience will be built through out-of-school routines, as it will mean that they know what to expect. School, being new, is full of surprises, but the stability of routine when they get home will alleviate that fear of the unknown. Also ensure that this downtime is fun, nourishing and calm.

5. Celebrate with Them

Every school year begins with a leap to the next level. Celebrate all that has come before. Remember with them all the things that they have learned and achieved in order to get them to this stage. If they are not new to school, try to remind them of some of the wonderful school memories they have from years past. Remind them what they have to look forward to.

By Chris Thomson

 

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